Individual Growth and Health Reconstruction: A Male Case Study of Moving from Self-Destruction to Self-Care

In 1985, the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services surveyed 33,000 American households. The survey revealed that many people knew how to maintain their health but didn't utilize that knowledge; many wanted to make changes but didn't know how. Others, however, didn't really want to change, especially when habits like smoking and drinking were enough to produce tangible benefits and happiness. Some went to extremes with running and dieting, causing their efforts to do more harm than good. Still others created unbearable pressure to immediately make numerous vaguely defined health changes. When they failed, they became despondent with guilt. They might have succeeded if they had made only one change at a time, waiting until it became second nature before moving on to the next. Sadly, some men weren't even willing to try. They said, "It's too late, I can't change. Why bother? I'm going to die anyway!" The answer was, "Yes, but when and how?" Such men might think they could die slowly-and possibly prematurely-from disease, or at least as old as possible. In his book *Becoming a Person*, psychologist Carl Logis views personal growth and change as a never-ending process. The goal is "getting there," not "being there." Imagine a 40-year-old man who, although divorced for three years, still experiences most of the care and hurt he received as a married man. His first step toward good health after the divorce is quitting smoking. He runs weekly in the mornings and frequently cycles on weekends. Regarding his diet, while not ideal at the moment, he hasn't learned to cook due to frequent restaurant meals. He doesn't know his cholesterol levels and hasn't seen a doctor since his last physical at age 38. He reduces his alcohol consumption to one glass of wine or less a day, and he sleeps well and regularly, taking naps when necessary. Since his divorce, he has learned a form of psychotherapy: he no longer seeks overly dependent women but instead cultivates non-sexual friendships with them "naturally." He works 60 to 80 hours a week because he loves his work and it makes his time fulfilling. He frequently cares for his children and feels closer to them than when he was married. He has a supportive circle of friends with whom he shares joy. He experienced immense joy. He was never bored when he was alone; sometimes he felt lonely, but he knew the loneliness would pass. He worried about aging, but he had learned that if he didn't take care of his own body, no one else would. In every sense, he was "becoming a person." Change is terrifying, but it's also an exhilarating process of becoming valuable. If you can take this risk, you may never go back to the path of self-destruction; you may slip along the way, but your guiding principle is from self-destruction to self-care; from passive acceptance to actively "taking over" your health. Adopting a new habit takes so long that many people become discouraged. Perhaps it will be helpful to adopt Carl Logis's perspective: You are the person you are becoming, and: proceed gradually. Set achievable goals. Keep a record of progress. Expect stumbles along the way. Reward yourself when you reach temporary goals. Ask family and friends for support of your efforts.