1, 2, or 3 minutes? Women care more about satisfaction; the definition of premature ejaculation needs to be re-examined.
**Article 20**
**1, 2, or 3 minutes? Women care more about satisfaction.**
**Case Study**
**Name: Qian Sheng (pseudonym), 33 years old**
**Region: Beijing**
**Occupation: Teacher**
One afternoon a few years ago, a couple in their thirties came to the hospital for a checkup. The man looked dejected, and the woman very politely asked if they could listen to the doctor's voices. With my tacit permission, the woman sat down next to the man. The man kept his head down, looking like a wronged wife.
I asked, "What's wrong?" "Premature ejaculation," the man replied weakly. I asked, "How long does it take from penetration to ejaculation?" The man said, "A minute at the shortest, two or three minutes at the longest." I was about to ask him more questions about his lifestyle to find out the reason. But as soon as the man finished speaking, the woman who had just been elegant and dignified instantly transformed into a shrewish woman throwing a tantrum in the street, standing up, pointing her finger at the man's head, and angrily demanding, "When have you ever lasted three minutes? You've never ejaculated in more than a minute!"
Hearing this, the man blushed, lowered his head even further, and dared not say another word. The woman then said to me, "You really have to take a good look at him. We've been married for so long, and he's always like this. Can you see what's causing this and what methods can be used to improve it? If it can't be cured, we really can't live like this anymore!"
Ma Weiguo, Deputy Chief Physician of the Department of Andrology at Guang'anmen Hospital of the China Academy of Chinese Medical Sciences: Premature ejaculation is the most common male sexual dysfunction, and there is currently no complete and precise definition. Some people believe that premature ejaculation is ejaculation occurring before or immediately after penetration; others believe that premature ejaculation is defined as ejaculation lasting less than 50% of the time to satisfy the partner; still others believe that premature ejaculation is defined as the female partner not reaching orgasm. Some advocate for a "quantitative" standard, with some calculating it by time, defining premature ejaculation as reaching orgasm within one minute of penetration, while others advocate two minutes; still others advocate calculating by the number of thrusts, considering less than 15 thrusts as premature ejaculation.
Many years ago, a large-scale survey on the duration of intercourse was conducted in Europe, which showed that 60% of men had a latency period of 2 to 6 minutes for ejaculation. Therefore, doctors generally consider a latency period of more than 2 minutes to be normal. However, the problem is that women find it difficult to reach orgasm in a short period of time, which leads to the difference in sensation between the couple in the case.
Besides nerve reflexes and endocrine regulation, psychological factors also play a significant role in the development of premature ejaculation. Many patients experience premature ejaculation due to a combination of psychological factors and central nervous system dysfunction, leading to excessive excitement and tension. Tension in the sexual relationship often triggers premature ejaculation, making it a direct result of conflict between the partners.
Treatment for premature ejaculation requires the participation of both partners; only close cooperation between them can achieve satisfactory results. Long-term premature ejaculation can easily lead to sexual anxiety, especially when their partner is sexually unsatisfied and expresses dissatisfaction. In the case of the couple seeking treatment, the woman showed no mercy to the man in front of others; it's easy to imagine that she would then subject him to emotional attacks during intercourse. Over time, this can potentially lead to decreased libido and erectile dysfunction in the man.
This case reminds me of a patient who came to the clinic years ago seeking treatment for premature ejaculation. When asked how many thrusts he could make inside the vagina, he answered over 100. He came because his wife was dissatisfied. This is an example of seeking medical help due to a misunderstanding of "premature ejaculation." There's an overemphasis on female sexual satisfaction during sex, with men assuming premature ejaculation is caused by ejaculating before the woman reaches orgasm. This view places excessive demands on men, because the time it takes for women to reach satisfaction varies from person to person, and even for the same person at different times. Moreover, some women suffer from orgasmic disorders. The process of sexual intercourse includes stages such as foreplay, erection, penetration, and ejaculation. Men should improve their skills in the other stages to ensure both partners achieve satisfactory sexual intercourse.